O Christmas Tree

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving! It's hard to believe that it's done and over with, and that Christmas is merely 2 weeks away! On Thanksgiving, we spent the day with my family. We had some delicious food and company! We spent the weekend with Justin's family, playing pitch, letting the kids entertain us, and enjoying yet more yummy food! We also went to WaKeeney for the annual tree lighting. We didn't get to visit Santa...the line was long, and it was cold. Fortunately, Kendra was anxious to get back to Grandma's house! The highlights are below.

Stayin' Alive

We're still here! Yes, it's been some time since I blogged. I'm having a hard time finding balance between my TWO new jobs, the kids, the husband, and activities I enjoy. Now that we are settling into more of a routine, I hope to have more time for the things I enjoy (other than my kiddos!). In addition to the new routine we've been trying to get established, we have been BUSY!

We celebrated a birthday. Kendra turned 5, and we celebrated with a pool party at her favorite water park. We invited all of her favorite people, and many showed up! Aside from the minor cake disaster (butter cream transfers and black icing in a cooler for several hours is not a good idea), we had a GREAT time!

I got to take a trip with the girls to fabulous Las Vegas. I missed my family terribly the three days I was gone, but it was a great time with one of my best friends, and some new friends!


We had our first visit from the tooth fairy. Kendra has now lost her first (and second) tooth. This was a very exciting time. Our tooth fairy is rather ditsy, though! She forgot to get the tooth, and had to come back for it the next night!


We visited the pumpkin patch. Alexis had a great time throwing hay and following the goats. Kendra was a little more adventurous. She really enjoyed jumping on the hay bales, going through the maze, and riding the zip line!

We got all dressed up for Halloween. We did get to go trick or treating as a family to the community event one evening. Unfortunately, though, we had the stomach virus attack our family, so Alexis and I were not able to go out Halloween night. (I don't think she really noticed, especially since her sister was kind enough to share her candy with her).

We (I) encountered a deer. Not fun.

Four days later, we encountered another deer. Even less fun.

We've also been keeping a close eye on our baby girl. We truly feel like we dodged a bullet, but we are not out of the woods yet. We are closely monitoring her development. We started going too a new pediatrician, and she felt that AJ was delayed in the speech area. We had her evaluated by a speech pathologist, and she felt like AJ was slightly delayed in her expressive language. We will begin meeting with her once a month to monitor her, and if we can't get her caught up, or if she regresses at all, we will get yet another referral to a pediatric neurologist. Honestly, though, we think she is doing just fine, and her language has really started to blossom. We are extremely thankful for this. Our new pediatrician is very understanding, and actually spent some time during her residency at the hospital we want to take AJ to next, should we need another referral. She has stressed to us that while it is a serious condition, hers is mild enough that we have some freedom to make decisions on what we do about it.

That's about all we've been up to! We had a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving, and enjoyed spending time with each of our families, but more on that later!

List Checking

Time for a list check! I'm almost out of time...eeek!

#10 Find a little black dress I love.
Done. I love it. And it was cheap. I'm a bargain shopper, and I found it on the clearance rack for...wait for it.....$5.98!

#16 Take Kendra fishing.
We took her fishing in June. The lake has a kid fest every year. We didn't catch a fish, but she still won a prize in the raffle!

#24 Take 50 pictures of Kendra.
Okay, this one was a little too easy...it's been done for a very, very long time. I've probably taken closer to 500 of her, judging from the counter on the camera.

#43 Go camping with Justin...just me and him.
We only had one night...and my parents were there...but they were across the campground and we did spend the evening by ourselves.

#56 Do a load of laundry, including folding and putting away, every night for a week.
I do a crap ton of laundry. A crap ton.

#65 Pay for someone behind me in the drive thru.
Well, I didn't EXACTLY do this, but what I did do is even better. Kendra and I had to run to Walmart one afternoon. There was a homeless guy standing outside, and unlike some around the town, this one actually looked homeless. And he had a dog. I felt horrible for him, and it was HOT, so I decided to do something nice. Kendra and I went to McDonalds and I bought hamburgers and bottles of water for him and his dog. Unfortunately, by the time we got back, he was gone.

#69 Donate to the food bank.
They had a movie night in the mall parking lot, and your entry was a food bank item. We took several, and enjoyed the movie!

#87 Mow the lawn 3 times.
I did it twice while I was pregnant with Alexis...as in ready to pop pregnant. And I've done it here, on the riding mower, but I still did it.

#93 Babysit for someone.
I've babysat lots, actually. I babysat my nephew one afternoon. I babysat for some new people in town for a couple weeks. And I've babysat for some friends. I welcome any and all kids to my house! :)

That's all...I know there are some I will not get done, but I will do my best! Time is ticking away...

Never A Dull Moment

Anyone who knows Kendra, knows she LOVES to perform...and how she is smitten with Froggy. Today, Kendra decided to plan a concert. Everyone attending must have a ticket. The tickets were adorable, to say the least. There was one for her mom, dad, and sister...as well as all of her stuffed animals. Of course, Froggy must attend this concert, and he had his own ticket also.


A little background. Kendra always wants us to give Froggy a sniff, or a kiss. Justin and I always tease her by saying, "Ew, no, get that stinky thing out of my face!" or "Ew, gross, Froggy is STINKY!!" When she brought us this ticket, we were intrigued as to what the squiggly lines were coming off of his face. Kendra was prompt to explain that these are his "stinky"...she explained that this shows that he is a stinky frog! Needless to say, there was quite the eruption of laughter!

I'm A Teacher!

At a college! Well, at least technically. This fall, I will begin teaching online courses at Hutchinson Community College.


After being out of the field for nearly a year, I am very excited to be involved again. I love HIM and, if I'm being completely honest, I've missed it. However, some things in life are more important...especially my girls, and how much they enjoy being home with mommy. I think this will fulfill my yearning to be involved in the field, and my desire to be a mommy full time.

The job came about the beginning of summer. One of my old instructors e-mailed me and asked if I would be interested in teaching online classes for her. I told her ABSOLUTELY and submitted my transcripts, license, and other necessary paperwork. I didn't hear anything for a long time, so I assumed she didn't have any openings. Then, last week, I got an e-mail saying that I had gotten the job! Now I will have to go through training, which it doesn't sound like it's a lot, before school starts on August 25th.

I tell you...after being bombarded with bad news, all of this good news is really going to spoil me!

Dodging the Bullet

This update is long overdue, sorry to all that have been waiting! It's been a BUSY week. So, the good news we have been waiting for...ALEXIS DOES NOT NEED SURGERY...at this point, anyhow. The neurosurgeon we saw on Monday was extremely confident that if Alexis develops any developmental, behavioral, etc. delays that it will not be due to the craniosynostosis. He said that her trigonocephaly (the shape of her head caused by the fused metopic suture) is only a grade II, which is a pretty mild case. We are not out of the woods yet, however. We may still be facing a surgery in a couple years, but we will cross that bridge when we get to it. There are three things that may happen at this point: the trigonocephaly will get worse, get better, or stay the same. At this time, we are NOT concerned about her appearance. We do not feel the need to put our daughter through a life threatening, major surgery for vanity. However, we feel that if it gets worse, the surgery will be necessary for her social development. We were told that if she were to have the surgery now, there is a good chance she will need a revision later in life...and this revision would increase her chances of complications due to the increased difficulty of the surgery caused by scar tissue. This neurosurgeon was nothing short of awesome. We did not feel rushed at all. He took the time to answer all of our questions and calm our fears. He went over the CT films with us in detail, explaining every aspect of the images. We did learn that her head was NOTas tilted in the images, as we were initially told, so her eyes are slightly uneven (one sits farther back in her skull than the other). We can not explain how RELIEVED we were to hear this news...we were so worried about developmental issues, especially given my family history. Thank you to everyone for the thoughts and prayers...especially to my mother-in-law, who gave us a prayer blanket for the baby. She slept with it the night before her appointment, all wrapped up in it, and she slept like...well, a baby! She was also very calm at her appointment, unlike her last one. I can't help but think that it worked. We truly feel like we dodged a bullet.

Quick Update

I thought I would just write a quick update to let everyone know how our visit with the neurosurgeon went. Long story short...we have more questions than answers right now. We were disappointed in the doctor and the way he handled our concerns and fears. While we expected a certain level of arrogance, and a total lack of beside manner, we did not expect the expert to dodge our questions and provide so little information. Needless to say, we have scheduled an appointment with a second neurosurgeon and will be making the trip July 12th. The good news is that, at this point, it does not seem like the surgery is as urgent as we originally thought. Her coronal suture is open, which is great news. Now we just need to figure out what to do about her metopic being fused. We will wait and see what the next doctor says! Thank you all for your continued support!

And the Good News Is...

...completely gone. After obtaining some of AJ's records today, and reading the addendum to her CT report, we learned that her metopic suture is NOT open. In fact, it is completely closed. I saw it very clearly on the images also. For the life of me, I can not fathom why a radiologist would have missed it the first time. It is also very clear on the images that her skull is slightly deformed, especially on the forehead. You can also see that her eye sockets are not symmetrical like they should be. It just blows my mind that it is so obvious to me, yet the radiologist first said "no intracranial abnormalities". Needless to say, we're upset. She has two sutures that are fused, which means that we may be facing two surgeries instead of one. I really hope this is the last bit of bad news we find out for awhile.

Kendra has also caught on that something is wrong. I've tried very hard to not let on that anything is going on in front of her, and not show how scared I am, but this evening my mom came over, and we were looking at her CT films. At first she was fascinated that she got to see pictures of the inside of her sister's head, but then she started questioning why she had to have the pictures to begin with, and wanted to know if the pictures were bad. We explained to Kendra that Alexis might have to have surgery and stay in the hospital for awhile. Kendra immediately started crying. She's going to miss her baby sister, she says, and she doesn't want her to be in the hospital. We're trying to act like it's not a huge deal in front of her, while at the same time not minimizing the situation. We want her to know the truth, but not be too scared. It's a tough thing to do.

Please keep sending your prayers and positive thoughts our way as we struggle through this ordeal. We're on the roller coaster ride of a lifetime, and I've never liked roller coasters.

Nix the Good News

I really thought my next post would be the cute, fun one that I mentioned yesterday. Unfortunately, that is not the case. The pediatrician's office called again today. This is kind of how the conversation went:

Nurse: Is this AJ's mom?

Me: Yes.

Nurse: Hi, this is *nurse* from *doctor's* office. What pharmacy do you use?

Me: Uhm...why?

Nurse: The doctor looked over AJ's lab report from Tuesday, and it turns out her iron is low. We need to start her on an iron supplement right away.

Me: Are you serious?

Nurse: Yes, I'm sorry. We feel with everything that's going on, her iron level needs to be higher.

Me: What was it?

Nurse: 10.5

Me: Why would her iron be low?

Nurse: It just depends, sometimes it can be caused by the child drinking too little or too much milk.

I won't type out the rest of the conversation, mostly because I was a little upset and probably wasn't as nice as I should have been to the nurse...but really, who calls a mother, after she's been given bad news, and tells them their child's blood work is all normal, then calls the next day and says it isn't? How does this happen? I've seen enough lab reports in my life to know that abnormal values are easy to spot, even if you don't read the numbers. They're bold. They're marked with either an H or an L to indicate if they are high or low. How did they not see this yesterday???

As I said previously, I've started to lose faith in the healthcare that we have available to us. I know that we're all human, even doctors, but in the last week, they've made WAY too many mistakes with us, and at least one of these could have been detrimental to the health of my child. I hope the doctor in Kansas City is a little bit more detail oriented!

Finally...A Little Good News

This morning I was jerked from sleep by my phone ringing. It was the pediatric office calling us with the results of AJ's latest lab work. Her second set came back normal, so the results from last Thursday that were off were due to a lab error. Since the values really had us scratching our heads, we're relieved.

We also got our appointment with the pediatric neurosurgeon. We will make the 6 hour journey next Wednesday. I've already started my list of questions, and I think of more every 5 minutes it seems like. Her appointment is, thankfully, in a place where we will have some family to lean on. We are already thankful for their offer of a place to stay, no matter how long we will need it. The last thing we want to do when facing this is sit in a cold hotel room by ourselves.

Today was better. We feel better knowing that it won't be long before we have some answers. We were dreading a long wait before the appointment. We're armed with information, and feel like we have a pretty good grasp on what we are facing. We've began exploring our options on our own, and have already prepared on where we will go for a second opinion, if necessary.

One of the places I've found for information and guidance is www.cappskids.org, which is an excellent source of information and support from families who have already experienced the diagnosis, treatments, and endless appointments for follow up, as well as those who have just been given the diagnosis. It helps to read about their experiences, and see how their children are thriving after treatment.

To everyone who has sent up prayers and offered words of support and encouragement...thank you. Words can not express how much the support of our family and friends means to us right now. We KNOW this is going to be a difficult journey.

I had a cute, fun post planned before we were introduced to the world of craniosynostosis. I will finish it and have it posted soon!

The News

We got the news today. The good news...AJ's metopic suture is open. The bad news...AJ's left coronal suture is fused.

It has been an emotional day. We've been on a roller coaster ride since Thursday. We have few answers, and literally hundreds of questions. Our next step is to meet with a pediatric neurologist. Until then, all we have are our questions, and the very dangerous Dr. Google.

I'm not happy. I've lost faith in the quality of health care available to us in our area. Perhaps it's just my bitterness and pessimism rearing it's ugly head, but I can't help it. I'm emotional. I'm scared. I'm nervous. I don't know what to do.

For now, this is all the information we have.

"The coronal sutures begin at the ear and continue superiorly to the top of the skull to meet the sagittal suture. One or both sutures may be involved. When one suture is fused, the forehead on that side is flattened and swept back with the eye in its socket. When both sides are fused (Bi-Coronal), the head is short and wide with bulging of the eyes and bulging of the skull around the ears." (Source: www.cappskids.org)

We're looking for answers and support. We're searching for strength and courage. We're trying to ignore worry and dread. We know what CAN happen. We know what complications MAY face us. We know what treatment options we MIGHT be given.



For now, all we can do is love each other, our sweet baby girl, and hope for the best...and pray.

Good News..Bad News

The good news...

Justin passed the part of his CPA exam that he took a few weeks ago! This is a huge step for him, and a giant boost of confidence that he very much needed. I am so proud of him!

The bad news...

AJ had blood work drawn last week as part of her 1 year well child visit. We got the results today. She had several values on her CBC that were high/low. We will go tomorrow for a re-draw. Needless to say, this has added a bit of worry and stress. We're hoping the values are abnormal due to an acute illness that we didn't know she had. We're also hoping that tomorrow we have even more good news to post as we should know the results of her CT scan by this time tomorrow.

We've had a lot of people sending up prayers for our precious baby girl, and for the family as a whole...people who hardly even know us have added us to prayer lists and offered their thoughts and prayers. We can't say thank you enough for the prayers, well wishes, and good vibes being sent our way. It helps to know so many people are pulling for us!

Worried

When I became a mom, I learned the true meaning of "worry". When they're newborns, you worry if they are getting enough sleep, enough to eat. You check the crib several times a night to make sure they're breathing.

When they enter the infant and toddler stage, you worry about them putting something dangerous in their mouths, or getting a hold of something they shouldn't. You worry about them falling when they start standing and walking, and worry about every little cough and sniffle. Fevers are a nightmare, especially if those fevers come on with no other symptoms.

Like every other good mother out there, I do everything I can to keep my children safe and happy. I comfort and nurture them when sick. I cuddle and snuggle them when they are crabby. I play silly games and do crazy dances around the house to make them smile. I rock them when they are scared. And I worry. I worry about weird diseases that they will never catch, and about injuries that will never happen.

This time, I have reason to worry. Alexis had her one year check-up today. I noticed the doctor really paying attention to her forehead. Since she was a little baby, she has always had a ridge on her forehead. I never thought it a thing I needed to worry about...until today. As the pediatrician was gently rubbing my fussy baby's head, I asked her if it was something I SHOULD be worried about. She calmly stated that she has always noticed the ridge, but that it is definitely becoming more pronounced as she gets older. I'm worried...about a little thing called metopic craniosynostosis. Basically, the pediatrician is suspicious that her metopic suture (the one that starts at the nose and goes to the top of the head, where it meets the saggital suture) has fused shut. She needs too have a CT scan. If the CT shows a fusion, or any kind of pressure on the brain, we will then have to meet with a pediatric neurologist. Our pediatrician wanted to make sure we had the very best technologist available, so she is looking at the schedule and will set us up early next week for the scan. Until then, I worry...

I debated even posting this, but it helps to "write it out". Life isn't always sunshine and roses. We'd be silly to believe that it is. So why not post about the not so fun stuff? I feel more stressed and tense than I have in a long time. I don't like the feeling of having something to really worry about. I know I should be thanking my lucky stars that my baby is still happy and healthy, and that even if she does end up having this weird thing going on, it is treatable. But let's face it...who likes the thought of their child's head being cut open and their skull being operated on? I know I'm getting ahead of myself...but I worry.

Kendra has also given me reason to worry. Today she was diagnosed with chicken pox. I know this is nothing to worry about, but I hate when my kiddos are sick. I know she'll be fine, and in a week or two you will never know anything was ever wrong. But she's sick. She has a fever. She's uncomfortable. So...I worry.

The pediatrician has also given me yet another reason to worry. In three months, she will be moving. I love our pediatrician. My kids love their doctor. She's seen Kendra since she was three months old, and Alexis since birth. I worry that we won't love her replacement as much, though she assures us we will. I worry about continuity of care. I'm sure we'll love the new one just as much, but...I worry.

I'm sure everything will be fine, but until I know for sure, all I have to do is worry.

Happy Birthday Alexis!

Today you are 1. I can't believe how fast the time has gone, you are growing up so fast! You've gone from a snuggly newborn to a sassy, vibrant little girl in a very short time. I am so glad you came into our lives. You truly completed our little family! We love you so much!

Memorial Weekend

Memorial weekend has always been one of our favorite holiday weekends. USUALLY, we spend the holiday kicking off summer at the lake. It's always wonderfully busy, and this year was no exception! There was no lake, but there were a lot of milestones to celebrate!

We celebrated Justin's 10 year high school reunion at our house. We had a fairly good turn out, and I laughed so hard hearing the stories shared amongst the classmates. It made me realized how much the small town life is important to me, and how excited I am that our kids are lucky enough too enjoy it also. Justin's classmates are such a great group of people, and they have memories that you can ONLY find in small town America!

Justin and I also celebrated our anniversary. Six years of wedded bliss. While we both agreed it's not exactly how we would have chosen to celebrate, it didn't matter HOW we celebrated, or even IF we celebrated. What matters to us is that we were together. We spent some time reflecting on how we have changed in the years we have spent together. Neither of us are in the place we thought we would be, but it's funny how things turn out! We have the perfect life (for us) together. I would never change one second of it.

Now you know there has to be some mushy stuff, too! I am truly married to my BEST friend. We may have had our ups and downs (but then again, who doesn't), but I love my husband more now than I ever have. As our friendship deepens, so does my love. I look forward to growing together even more, and seeing what the years ahead have in store for us.

The celebrations continued as we celebrated AJ's first birthday. I can't believe my baby is going to be a year old in a few short days. It's hard to believe that our beautiful newborn baby is now a vibrant, sassy girl who loves to laugh, play, and brush her sister's hair.

Alexis seemed somewhat oblivious to the activities going on around her. Each present that was opened was something to chew on.


Thankfully, we had a great helper!

Of course, no birthday party is complete without cake!

At first, Alexis did not know what to think of her smash cake, even though it didn't take her long to grab a fistful and squish it between her fingers.

After Papa M showed her where the cake was supposed to go, Alexis decided that it wasn't too bad, and those fistfuls of cake that were so fun too squish went right to her mouth!

Of course, the weekend would not have been complete without spending time with our awesome family playing and barbecuing in the backyard!

Summer!!

This.....

is what summer.....

is all about!!!

Fun in the sun, friends, and smiling faces!



We ♥ summer!

Kendra's Weekend

Almost 3 weeks ago (time flies when you're having fun!) Justin, Kendra and I had a whirlwind trip to Wichita. We left bright and early Saturday morning, while AJ spent the day with Papa and Grandma.

Did I mention that Justin and I got up REALLY early? I think at this point in the trip Justin had run out of coffee. :)

Kendra handled the drive a little better...but of course she slept in a little more than mommy and daddy. She was even a good traveler after her DVD player quit working.

There was so much excitement waiting for us in Wichita! Let me tell you, it's a good thing we left as early as we did! After finding our seats and refreshing ourselves, we didn't have much time to wait!

We spent the short wait letting our excitement build. We talked endlessly about dinosaurs and all things related. How could we not? We knew that this was going to be AWESOME! (We also spent some time begging daddy for cotton candy, and of course, we won!)

We marveled at our proximity of our seats to the stage. We theorized on what was about to take place. We had prepared ourselves and we thought we knew what to expect. However, all of the YouTube videos and conversations with those who had previously attended didn't come close to preparing us for the spectacular show we were about to see. The announcer blared over the loud speaker..."Five minutes to show time. Please turn of all cell phones, and turn off the flashes on your cameras. Dinosaurs are not fans of modern technology. If you don't abide, the results could be....catastrophic."

The crowd was buzzing. Kids were chattering and jittery, and parents were smiling. Grandmas rushed little ones for one last restroom break, while grandpas filled their arms with goodies for the show. Daddy finally gave in and grabbed the cotton candy vendor on her last trip down the aisle before the show. You could feel the excitement building. Then finally, the lights dimmed. The curtains opened, and out came the....paleontologist. He immediately captured every one's attention by describing the lands dinosaurs inhabited and the job duties he had. It wasn't long before the curtains opened again, and the things everyone had been waiting to see began making their way on stage.

The stage was barren, just as the Earth would have been at the time these creatures roamed freely. Soon, however, beautiful plants and trees began to pop up all around us as we entered the next phase in the days of the dinosaurs.

It didn't take long for the dinosaurs to become larger and the action to pick up as species fought for food and survival in front of our very eyes.

We also got to see mommy dinosaurs nurture, protect, and love their young. There were lots of mommas kissing and cuddling their young ones in the audience also.

We continued to travel through time, and soon beautiful, bright flowers were popping up everywhere! Of course, we were also introduced to new species of dinosaurs.

This brought Kendra's absolute favorite dinosaur on stage, Triceratops. She was a chattering and excited the entire time this one was on stage! We were even lucky enough to get a close up view as she feasted away on flowers right in front of us!

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. We again warped through time and came to the last era of dinosaurs.

They definitely saved the best for last! The cutest little dinosaur of all took stage...baby T. Rex! Of course, children, by nature, always find trouble. Let me tell you, baby T. Rex was no different! Soon, mama T. Rex had to come protect her child, and this was the grand finale to the show.

Mama T. Rex ran around the stage, warning all predators around that she meant business. Baby T. Rex ran behind, attempting to echo her roars. The audience roared with laughter at the young dinosaur's attempt.

We were fortunate enough to get a close up of Mama T. Rex as she came by for a photograph. After the picture was taken, she let out a fierce growl, and Kendra and I both landed in Daddy's lap! The show couldn't go on forever, so a meteorite was simulated and the curtains closed.

Let me tell you...there was constant chatter as we made our way through town for a quick lunch. We were all pretty tired, and planned on a quick nap before an afternoon and evening of swimming. Kendra, however, could not wait and fell asleep in the car. Just as we were settling into our room, we realized that there was no pool for us to swim in! It took as a while to figure out what were going to do. Fortunately, there was another hotel in the same chain a short drive away, so after changing, we all headed that way. We ended our evening with Snoballs and pizza in our room. It was early to bed for the tired Ryan family! Our trip ended the next morning with a short visit to the mall. We did a little shopping, and Kendra surprised us by asking to "bungee jump".

Once she was strapped in, all courage she had was immediately forgotten, and understandably so. She could have jumped nearly to the open skylight! She did get a few feet off the ground, but only with the assistance of the worker. :) (Notice the Dillard's behind Kendra...this is the very Dillards I was in when my water broke with Kendra!)

With that, we ended our trip and headed home. Wichita is a fun place to visit, but there is no place like home!